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Dale Carnegie was an American writer and lecturer and the developer of famous courses in self-improvement, salesmanship, corporate training, public speaking, and interpersonal skills. How to Win Friends and Influence People was one of the first books I was introduced to that he wrote.
I took his training and added Dale Carnegie Certified Effective Communications and Public Speaking qualification to my library of certifications.
How to Win Friends and Influence People was one of the many books we studied and had to implement.
Become a Friendlier Person
- Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
- Give Honest, sincere appreciation.
- Arouse in the other person an eager want.
- Become genuinely interested in other people.
- Remember that a person’s name is to him or her the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
- Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
- Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
- Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.
Win People to your way of thinking.
- The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
- Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never tell a person he or she is wrong.
- If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
- Begin in a friendly way.
- Get the other person saying “yes”, “yes” immediately.
- Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
- Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
- Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
- Appeal to the nobler motives.
- Dramatize your ideas.
- Throw down a challenge.
How do you implement the above?
Dale Carnegie had some great principles but do they work today? Do people really want to take these principles and work with them.
As far not telling a person they are wrong I think this one is a challenge for many considering that social media and the younger generation seem to always be telling someone they are wrong. Learning how to change this is a good self-development exercise.
I remember when I was doing my training that it does take discipline to work these principles into everyday life. Once you do that you do see a great change in your own self-confidence and self-esteem. I know I did.
What about being a good listener?
This is a big challenge for so many people. Most people are trying to figure out what to say next and not really listening to what the person has to say at all.
This is especially so during business meetings where everyone wants to get their ideas across. At home in the family situation, everyone is trying to get their emotional perspective out there and they are not listening or paying attention to anyone else’s feelings.
I love Dale Carnegie and his ideas and principles and they have been used and re-used by many coach’s trainers, speakers, and authors for many years. He was a very intelligent, insightful man and I think his principles should still be applied today in schools, business, and personal lives.