How to not be jealous, Overcome Jealousy Insecurity – Control Jealousy

How to not be jealous and Overcome Jealousy Insecurity

Jealousy can ruin relationships or does it?

Jealousy is usually defined as the emotional reaction to a threat to your relationship from a real or imagined rival.  Most cultures do not tolerate jealousy and the majority of people don’t talk about it because the feeling itself is taboo. So how to not be jealous can be a challenge and a problem in life.Jealousy

I remember when I was young and first married I used to get jealous of my husband all the time.  No matter what he did or who he spoke to I would feel horrible, sometimes I would say something about my fears but most times I would not.  I spent a lot of years being miserable and my marriage was not very happy.   When I did mention things when I got jealous we would have big fights.  Nothing my husband said to me would convince me that what I believed was not true. Imagination can be a lot worse for stress and anxiety because I could imagine all sorts of things. I am sure you understand how

I spent a lot of years being miserable and unhappy, imagining all sorts of things that my husband might be up to. Needless to say, my marriage was not a very happy one.   When I did mention things when I got jealous we would have big arguments and fights.  Nothing my husband said to me would convince me that what I believed to be happening was not true. Imagination can be a lot worse for stress and anxiety because I would imagine all sorts of things. I am sure you understand how your imagination can run away with you.Affects of jealousy on your body

The area of the brain which controls jealousy has been found, scientists have announced. It is the same part which detects real physical pain. The amount of stress this puts on yourself for no good reason is such a waste of energy.  This stress also manifests itself into physical pain.  Headaches, chest pain, high blood pressure and insomnia to name but a few.

Jealousy can be positive when one person in the relationship gets jealous because they feel threatened their behavior can change by putting an arm around their partner, moving in closer, speaking softly to them.  This then will have the effect of the relationship becoming more loving and stronger. So do you feel proud to be with your partner when others are eyeing them up or making advances on them or do you get really jealous and ruin the moment.  Is this how you want your relationship to be?  The only time your mate shows you any attention is when they feel threatened and from a place of jealousy?  This is not really a healthy relationship.

Overcoming Jealousy at work is something you must also tackle.   When jealous of a work colleague this can cause all sorts of mistakes and misunderstandings.   When you are doing the best job you can you again should trust yourself that you will be noticed by the people who are in charge of promoting you.  You must also watch your back and learn how the system works within the team or office you are part of.  Jealousy should not really be part of your strategy.

Effects of Jealousy on your body.

Not only do you feel bad when you are jealous, you are also causing pressure on your Overcome jealousy effects on your healthbody. Remember when jealous in any type of relationships including your business rivals, your co-workers, your fellow bloggers, you are only causing yourself harm and nobody else.  You are also coming from the universal place of lack. How does your lunch look to you when you find out your work mate has just got promoted above you.  You feel sick to your stomach literally and cannot eat.

How does your lunch look to you when you find out your work mate has just got promoted above you.  You feel sick to your stomach literally and cannot eat.

  • Blood pressure rises
  • Digestive system under stress
  • Heart raises and spikes
  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Stress

Overcoming jealousy and insecurity is something you will want to work on, this can save family challenges, save relationships, save your job, stop you being alone and generally make you more healthy and nice to be around.

Children learn how to be jealous at a very early age depending on how they are treated by the adults around them.  Siblings can get very jealous especially when the parents give one more attention than the other.  At school, they get jealous of the ‘cool’ kids or the popular kids and think they are not good enough.  This also leads to depression, stress and ill health.  If taught how to deal with these feelings of jealousy at an early age will really help them in the future.

Trust, learn how to trust yourself, trusting and believing in yourself goes part way to getting rid of your jealousy of others.  Learn how to be at work and controlling how you feel about other peoples successes believe you can achieve anything.

Over the years I have helped many of my clients manage their lifestyle with a health and wellness in mind.  Private, group and skype sessions are available all over the world.

It would be my pleasure to have you as one of my clients.

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  1. Reply

    I love the way you write and the scientific facts really intrigued me, like the multiple negative effects that causes on our body, it is certainly a waste of time and energy and does us more harm than good.

    I do believe that trusting ourselves and be who we are is a way to get rid of jealousy. When I was in high school and university, I used to get jealous of my classmates and friends who were better than me(there is a lot of comparison), but right now I am just totally focused on my own business and I love who I am, where I am right now. That largely helped me to overcome my jealousy and get more work done. Thanks for a great read!

    • helenvella


      Thank you for sharing part of your story. Trusting ourselves is a big way to overcome jealousy, which as you said does us more harm than good. Glad you are focused and moving forward in a more healthy way.

  2. Reply

    Thank you for sharing this information with us.
    I think people don’t realize how important our emotions are, every emotion has its roots we just have to find it and address it.
    Jealousy is part of every person and we should have in mind how much it can have an impact on us and the people around us.
    Very inspiring and helpful article!

    Bless your soul.

    • helenvella


      Thank you – it is always good when you are aware of how your actions and emotions affect other people around you. Jealousy being one that can cause many problems if not addressed.

  3. Reply

    I gave up jealousy a long time ago…I hope more people read your article and do the same as it was written well and definitely gets the point across.

  4. Dan


    Really enjoyed reading that. Isn’t it interesting that as we read, past memories arise. That job we were passed over for. The promotion that the work colleague got instead of me. The …. eh … ex-girlfriends … I was a very jealous fella 15 years ago. But you’re totally right. Believe in yourself and learn to be resilient and wonderful things will happen! Thanks for a really engaging article.

    • helenvella


      Yes past memories always surface when we read or watch movies or even have conversations with others. It is how we deal with those emotions attached to the memories that are important. I am so glad you enjoyed the post.

  5. Reply

    I had know idea that jealousy is bad for your body. I have always been a jealous person so to hear this was an eye opener. Thanks also for the tips to make jealousy into a positive thing. I have always been the type to ruin the mood by getting mad. I have noticed that my jealousy has gotten better the longer I have been with my GF and built up more and more trust.
    Great post and very informative.

    • helenvella


      You are welcome. Yes trusting in yourself and believing in yourself goes a long way to becoming less jealous. Good luck with your progress 🙂

  6. Reply

    Hello Helen
    Jealousy is something that ruins many relationships and friendships. It is a terrible feeling to have and it undermines all self confidence – as you say the insecurity that jealousy breeds is sometimes unbearable and can lead one to doing things that are out of character.
    It is well worth working on overcoming jealousy – I did and I have become a much more confident, happy and enjoyable person to be around. The main thing is that I am happier in myself and when I do feel twinges of jealousy arising I squash them quickly.
    Jealousy is an awful feeling and it hurts no one but yourself.

    • helenvella


      Very true, agree with all your comments. Jealousy only hurts your health and creates a terrible feeling as you already said. Thank you for your comments.

  7. Reply

    This is wonderfully written! You had me fully engaged with the way you wrote it. It’s an important topic that should interest everybody, anyway, but this really flowed through my mind as I was reading!

    The part about how the body reacts to jealousy was simply the best! I had never looked at it quite that way before. I think it must be your writing style that opened my eyes to a new way of looking at this. Keep on putting these out…Great Stuff!!

    But, I do have a question. Of course we can say “just trust” this is needed, but what is it that allows a person to not be so dependent emotionally (or co-dependent) on the other person for their identity, but at the same time is not blind trust?

    It doesn’t seem to work to place your spouse at the center of your world, but neither does it seem to work to place ourselves at the center…one is needy, the other is egotistical.

    Well, that’s all for now. I’m off to read more on your site, right now! I look forward to your response and seeing what you have to say on this. You have a great site going here; will be sure to bookmark it for future reference.

    Thanks in advance for your time and efforts.


    • helenvella


      Thank you I really appreciate your feedback. Trusting yourself and feeling balanced with yourself does not come over as ego. When you are balanced and comfortable with who you are your energy is positive and approachable. Loving and trusting yourself is key to happiness and balance.

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