How long does Grief last you are asking yourself?
The intense pain and the feeling that you will always feel this way. This is how I felt when I lost my Dad and my Grandmother. I lost my Dad in the February of 1997 and then Princess Diana August 1997 a terrible year for me. I never thought I was going to get over my Dad – ever….How could I live without him in my life?
Losing someone you love to a death can be unbearable, the sadness, the feeling that your heart is going to break, the crying you think will never stop and above all you feel nobody understands what you are going through.
Grief some say is a process you have to go through and suggest these are the steps
- Denial and Isolation,
- Anger, bargaining,
I am not sure if is always this way or even in that order. My opinion is that everyone goes through losing a loved one in their own way depending on the relationship they have with the person and also their emotional state at the time.
We acquire life experience through experiencing life and not everyone has the same life experience even if you are part of the same family your experience is different, consequently, your reaction to losing a loved one and your coping with that loss will be as an individual to you as your own life experience is.
So how long does Grief last?
My own experience and that of some of my clients did not always experience all of the 5 stages and not in any order, and the length of time getting over differs for each person.
The first death I experienced was my beloved Grand Mother, she was my mentor, teacher, guide, and a real mother to me. I explain more about her and my dad in my book She was 94 when she passed after a very short illness. She was born in 1900 and I loved hearing all her stories of how technology and the world had evolved from the Victorian times.
I was devastated, I can’t say I was in denial but I did feel isolated, I felt nobody else understood or could feel what I was feeling. I was confused at some of the family not feeling as bad as me.
This is an Extract from Tap Your Grief Away which I wrote to help me heal myself and help others to know how to help themselves. I explain more about how I coped and got over my overwhelming grief. You never get over the loss!
What helps Grief?
Rescue Remedy is a great remedy to carry with you all the time. It helps take the edge off.
Talking to someone you trust.
Giving yourself time, after awhile you can put a time limit, tell yourself you are going to grieve for a certain time then tell yourself your time is up and move on.
Emotional Freedom Techniques (explained in detail in the book)
Having a plan and implementing it will help.
Grief takes shape in many ways, losing your pet, relationship, empty nesting, retiring even getting married. Sometimes I grieve for the childhood I never had. Grief is not just the result of a death. With everything going on in the world right now people are grieving for others almost constantly.
Right now a lot of parents are grieving because their kids are off to college and some of the kids are grieving because they left the comforts of home
I know it is unbearable at times and when people say “It will get better” believe me it does get better, take your time and go through what you have to and allow it to happen, don’t try to ignore it or push it deep down, this has a lot more emotional stress on your mind and body for a longer period of time.
My Dad and My Grandmother
Let me know how you are coping with your grief and anything that helped you.