Dale Carnegie How To Win Friends and Influence People.

One of the best books I ever read How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

Dale Carnegie was an American writer and lecturer and the developer of famous courses in self-improvement, salesmanship, corporate training, public speaking, and interpersonal skills. How to Win Friends and Influence People was one of the first books I was introduced to that he wrote.Dale Carnegie

I took his training and added Dale Carnegie Certified Effective Communications and Public Speaking qualification to my library of certifications.

How to Win Friends and Influence People was one of the many books we studied and had to implement.

Become a Friendlier Person

  1. Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
  2. Give Honest, sincere appreciation.
  3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.
  4. Become genuinely interested in other people.
  5. Smile
  6. Remember that a person’s name is to him or her the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
  7. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
  8. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
  9. Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.

Win People to your way of thinking.

  1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
  2. Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never tell a person he or she is wrong.
  3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
  4. Begin in a friendly way.
  5. Get the other person saying “yes”, “yes” immediately.
  6. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or her.
  7. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
  8. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
  9. Appeal to the nobler motives.
  10. Dramatize your ideas.
  11. Throwdown a challenge.

How do you implement the above?

Dale Carnegie had some great principles but do they work today?  Do people really want to take these principles and work with them?

I remember when I was doing my training that it does take discipline to work these principles into everyday life.  Once you do you see a great change in your own self-confidence and self-esteem.

I know I did.

What about being a good listener?

This is a big challenge for so many people. Most people are trying to figure out what to say next and not really listening to what the person has to say at all.

This is especially so during business meetings where everyone wants to get their ideas across.  At home in the family situation, everyone is trying to get their emotional perspective out there and they are not listening or paying attention to anyone else’s feelings.

To be a great listener you have to listen to hear not listen to talk.
I love Dale Carnegie his ideas and principles and they have been used and re-used by many coach’s trainers, speakers, and authors for many years.  He was a very intelligent, insightful man and I think his principles should still be applied today in schools, business, and personal lives.

Give it a try.   Need help with anything please contact me:


  1. Reply

    I have read the book from my father’s book collection when I was a teenager and very impressed by the book so that I applied the book in my everyday attitudes. I think the book is evergreen and never out of date. The principles in the book are golden ways to get friends and influence people. Thank you for refresh the principles for the newer generations.

  2. Reply

    This is one of my favorite books. I read this book every month to keep me grounded. It also remind me to slow down and just listen.

    • helenvella


      Agree totally and it is a great book to pick up again even years later as a reminder.

  3. Reply

    This is a great summary of a favorite book of mine. It’s really all common sense, but sometimes we need to be reminded of the best ways to communicate and listen.

    • helenvella


      Totally agree with you, Dale Carnegie is one of the greats, love all his books.

  4. Blair villanueva


    Thanks for sharing these reminders to be friendly. We can use it at anytime and never goes out of style.

    • helenvella


      It does not go out of style at all ever. However, there are a lot of individuals that do not live by these principles.

    • helenvella


      Thats what I love about life you do learn something new every day if you allow yourself.

  5. Reply

    This is a great summary! It has been a while since I read How to Win Friends and Influence people. Thank you for the reminder. I haven’t seen the other book, Listen! Might be time for a trip to the bookstore or a new Kindle purchase!

    • helenvella


      Dale Carnegie has a few books out and they are all full of wonderful principles and ideas to help self growth. Any book you get will be an inspiration.

  6. Reply

    Been awhile since I read this book but I do have it in my library. This may be a sign that I need to peruse it once again. It was great then and from what your wrote is not at all not effective now.

    thank you for sharing.

    • helenvella


      Always a great book to re-visit. I do many times, as a coach and trainer I find it very useful and adapt it with my clients helping them to succeed.

  7. Reply

    Vintage advice from one of the great inspirational leaders of our time. No one knows how to listen anymore. We listen to respond, not to learn. DC used common sense to forge relationships, both personal and professional. Thanks for making me remember this man.

    • helenvella


      Agree totally with your comments. Listening is an art not learned by many.

  8. Reply

    Hello Helen =D

    How to Win Friends & Influence People was the last personal development book I read and I have learnt some extremely important things from that book. How it’s always KEY to see things from another person’s perspective, to compliment people even with the smallest of things boosts so much self esteem, becoming a nicer person, plus tons more.

    I could go on and on, really is a top book.

    Thanks =)

    • helenvella


      Thanks Lawrence you are so right, it is one of the great personal development books. His other books are just as good too.

  9. Reply

    A great reminder of a timeless classic. It is one of those books which just about everybody can benefit from. I have had it on my shelf for many years and it is great to dip into every now and again.

  10. Blair villanueva


    Thanks for sharing your tips! However, sometimes you have to criticize a bit, them shower it with honest advice. Flowery words makes you question someone’s credibility.

    • helenvella


      It is how you criticize that is important.Learning to appreciate others and seeing others points of view is crucial for human interaction and good relationships. Flowery words coming from the heart should not induce negative credibility.

  11. Austin


    I love Dale Carnegie. I remember when I was younger being told to read this book by someone that was influential in my life and to this day I always tell people that I am training in sales that a person’s favorite word is their name.
    As well giving people ownership of an idea in an argument is awesome. All around good article around a good book. Awesome!

  12. Reply

    Hi helenvalla,
    Thanks for putting up this review!
    I agree with you in your last sentence here – “I think his principles should still be applied today in schools, business, and personal lives.” This is what I believe too.

    Dale Carnegie’s ” How to win friends and influence people” is one of my most favorite self development book.
    I see a lot of benefit since I started implement some of his techniques in my management career last a few year ago.
    This book has a great resource in it and I personally recommend this book for those who want to improve their lives.
    Thanks for sharing.

    • helenvella


      Thank you for your comments and I am glad you agree it should be in schools as well. The classics and getting back to basics should be something they should be looking at.

  13. Reply

    This is a great book- and actually a highly resourceful website that I will definitely come back to visit soon 🙂 I really think that these principals are an important reminder for me to take- and I do think that they apply today as much as they did back then (my parents actually met at a Dale Carnegie course so I am quite familiar with him). I have a hard time remembering people’s names so that is the one thing I really need to work on.
    I think that what really resonates with me is the authenticity and genuineness in getting to truly know and connect with another person. I think it boils right down to that.

    • helenvella


      Totally agree with all your comments. I am so glad you heard of him throughout your life, he is a great influence and was an amazing insightful person.

  14. Reply

    Dale Carnegie,

    Wow! I have not heard that name in quite awhile!

    He was the first of the positive thinkers.

    I need to try out his book

    • helenvella


      You should it is a great reminder of how we should treat people and be the best person we can. He was one of the greats.

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